October 2, 2013

imagesGeorge Carlin week continues.
“There are certain clues that tell you how much a restaurant will cost. If the word cuisine appears in the advertising, it will be expensive. If they use the word food, it will be moderately priced. However, if the sign says eats, even though you’ll save some money on food, your medical bills may be quite high. I don’t like trendy food. When I hear, ‘sautéed boneless panda groin,’ I know I’m in the wrong place. There’s such a thing as pretentious food, Puree of woodchuck, marinated bat nipples, weasel chops, porcupine cacciatore. Or fried eagle. A guy said to me recently, ‘C’mon, we’ll go to Baxter’s, they have fried eagle.’ I’m thinkin’ to myself ‘Do I really wanna know this guy?’ However if you are going to dine with pretentious people, here are some items you can order that are sure to empress: deep-dish moose balls, diced yak, badger gumbo, gorilla fondue, filet of hyena, jackal tartar, rack of prairie dog free range mole en brochette, wolf noodle soup, loin of chipmunk, curried woodpecker, stir fried weasel, penguin scaloppini, sweet and sour loon heads, whale chowder, toasted snail penises, kola flambé, wombat souvlaki, grenadine of mule, and candied goat anus.
Then at the other end of the spectrum, there is the decidedly nontrendy restaurant, where the special sometimes is simply ‘meat.’ Big sign in the window ‘Today’s special: Meat.’ ‘I’ll have the meat’
‘Would you like sauce with that?’ That’s it for today this is Flounder (Laughing like crazy) saying CIAO from Medellin.

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