floundersgreatadventure

Here we go Jeff and Ruby went shopping for my gift again today and they brought back this harness they thought they were doing a good thing because they could take me outside: Only one problem nobody’s putting a dam harness and leash on me, not if they want to keep their hands and eyes, just what the hell were they thinking they’ve completely lost their minds. I’m an eleven year old cat born in a sports stadiums parking lot and they think they can put a leash on me believe me they will pay for this. Jeff did take some nice pictures on the way to Exito, he can take some more when they take the leash back, and the pictures are at the end of this post. Hader and Juan Pablo are on their way over to bring family presents here for tomorrow night. I guess we’re going to have a couple Christmas celebrations tomorrow night. That means I’m probably going to be up all night again. When I say again we were awaken by our neighbors twice last night as the bimbos next door were fighting with some guys, Don’t know if they were boyfriends or not, Ruby won’t let Jeff go out and talk to these people. Ruby says she going to talk to administration about them, Jeff wants to smack the crap out of them, it may not solve the problem but it would give him a great deal of personal satisfaction . Hader just showed up and left almost immediately to talk to John because his car is broke again. That kid is really tough on a car, but to be fair that car has seen its best days awhile ago. Hey check the picture out of me under the tree: You know I might try a little Christmas unwrapping tonight see you tomorrow Maybe ciao.

OK this is Jeff’s annual wish for everybody’s Christmas I’ll be along later with my usual post Ciao

I’ve been in a box for almost a year.
Then suddenly, daylight, a movement a stir.
Unwrapped from tissue, dusted and kissed,
My wings are unfurled, my satin untwist.
And carried like gold to the top of a tree,
The height of it, secretly scary to me.
I wobble and sway, I tip, almost fall
But gentle hands catch me and stand me up tall.

 From high up above I can see down below
The ornaments twinkle, the fairy lights glow.
And children, wide eyed as they clap and they dance,
Excitement is building, for tonight, just perchance
Across the night sky, speeding straight, rounding bends
A sleigh full of gifts pulled by strong antlered friends.
A ruddy faced man with a long flowing beard
Is riding so high over rooftops well cleared.

I watch as the children lay sacks to be filled.
They laugh and they giggle, excited and thrilled
Leaving carrots for Rudolph with his nose oh so red
They rush up the stairs so eager for bed.
And so as snow falls and night gathers round
In the peace of the house there is barely a sound.
The cat from his chair gazes up at the tree
His eyes sharply glint as he stares up at me.
He thinks about climbing the branches so steep
Then he stretches and yawns and falls back to sleep.

  Then midnight is struck by the clock in the hall
And if I’m not mistaken I hear a foot fall
On the roof top above, then a slip and a slide,
A crash in the grate. Yes! Santa’s arrived.
He dusts off the soot, stamps his large frozen feet
And cheek of it all! Rudolph’s carrots did eat!
With a quiet Ho! Ho! He bends to his sack
And searches for presents labelled Lucy and Jack
And into their sacks he packs boxes in tight
Then off up the chimney disappears in the night.

  I watch as he twitches the long leather reins.
The sleigh then speeds off o’er the fields and long lanes.
And the crash and the jangle of reindeer bells
Disappear in the night o’er the forests and dells.
And the cat from his chair, he opens one eye
And lazily watches the frosty night sky.
He stretches and scratches and curls in a ball
Whilst silently, gently snowflakes tumble and fall.

  The house is so still, just the tick of the clock
The light from the moon gives a glint to my frock.
And the bells of the church fall silent and still
As icicles form on the cold window sill.
So now I must wait through the hours of peace
Till the house stirs again and voices increase.
Meanwhile, I will sleep on my treetop so high
And wait for the children to burst in and cry
‘He’s been! Yes, he’s been! Our presents are here!
Oh Merry Christmas!’ they shout ‘and a Happy New Year!’

Guess what I survived another night of visitors these were very nice that  is not to say that others were not Ruby’s god son has name that sounds like MacGyver but it’s not but I can’t pronounce the Spanish one. He’s very nice speaks, very good English and is pretty smart too; he wants to be a lawyer. His sister Jessica, if I got the name write, Is like Jeff she understands a lot of English but doesn’t speak a lot of it she’s very pretty, smart and would like to be a journalist the way she was watching Jeff speak I think she has the intensity to very good at it. She hopes to go to the US as a cultural exchange student next year I hope she does it would be a good experience for her. The whole family is super nice they didn’t bother me at all I hope they can come again soon. They’ll definitely be going to visit them next year and you know how much I love it when Jeff and Ruby go visiting I get to rest and eat with no body to bother me. Well it’s eleven o’clock now and it’s my bed time actually it’s Jeff’s bed time and my time to run around and see if I can catch Larry the Lizard tonight.Ciao

You know how I always sign off  saying Ciao well you know that’s Italian but somehow the people, in this area anyhow, say ciao when they leave not adios and I have no idea why. Not only that they seem surprised when Jeff tells them it Italian. If any of you know why let me know. Now in a few minutes Ruby’s godson and his family are going to drop by we haven’t met them yet but this is what happens this time of year. They had called when Ruby was a the store and Jeff said sure come on over and when Ruby gat home she went into express cleaning giving Jeff a bad look at the same time. If he had said you better wait and talk to Ruby he probably would have been in more trouble, it’s one of those lose, lose situations. I’m so glad I’m a cat. Look I’m going to hide behind the Christmas tree that really upsets Ruby, nothing like throwing gasoline on a fire, so if everything ok later maybe I’ll be back to talk about the visit if not it’s been nice knowing Jeff Ciao.

Ok I’m glad to see some people are actually reading this stuff so I guess I’ll keep or telling Jeff what to write. Today Jeff and Ruby went to look for my Christmas present and they came back with NOTHING (I’m Not Happy). Anyhow when they got to the Exito they were surprised to see standing in front of the bike rack two calf’s and a couple of full size cows, now usually there are a few dogs laying around but this was the first time someone brought cows to go shopping, bet they bought them Christmas presents. Everybody is supposed to come over tonight to watch the soccer game if they do I’ll be in the bedroom with my pal Hari watching Baby TV. The national weather service for Colombia is predicting that the raining season is now completely rained out, that cool now maybe I can get my tan back. Jeff says it’s going to do something called snow up in the US I’ve forgotten what that looks like as well as those temp no. below 70. You know if your jealous of our weather down here get on a dam plane and come on down Well I’ve got show Jeff and Ruby they can’t get away with not buying me a Christmas Gift I’ll just walk around crying and they’ll think I’m sick and will try to make me comfortable and I’ll just go over and scratch the couch. Till next time Ciao

Jeff’s back home from his little appearance to help some workers learn English He had a great time because they made the mistake of letting him talk. If anybody knows Jeff they know once you get him talking it’s almost impossible to stop. The students need English because they encounter American everyday and they all want their bags. Americans don’t understand that they have to pay separately for their luggage depending on the size also they must have a ticket. One of the situations that they sometimes fine themselves in is the customer has lost his ticket and must show his passport which of course is in his bag. Well he has to write a letter to the company and should be able to get it that day. The workers must also be able to tell the customer where the bathroom is as well as the train station. Other directions should be available at the information desk the young lady who was supposed to attend the class chickened out but everybody else seemed to enjoy it as much as Jeff. He’s been invited back again next semester and he’s looking forward to it. Well it’s time to go scratch something because I’m hungry and no one feeding me. Tune in again tomorrow ciao.

Ok now this will really amaze you my buddy Jeff is going to be a guess instructor in a College English class. This is the guy if it wasn’t for spell and grammar check wouldn’t be able to write this blog for me. I think I told you Ruby’s son John was a professor of English at a university, well it seem that during the holiday break some of his friend s decide to start a little business of teaching English or I guess you say tutoring business. They apparently promised Native American speakers and of they didn’t know any so they thought of John’s American relatives and asked john who said sure Jeff will do it, then he asked Jeff. Well he really didn’t ask Jeff he asked his mom to ask Jeff. It was fun watching Jeff try to figure how to get out of this one when you know he can’t. He’ll be leaving soon and I’ll let you know what happens later. Juan Pablo is here and I have to go hide I know he just wants to be friends but Hari and Ruby or the only ones I let pick me up or scratch my belly so rather than scratch his face off I’ go hide under the bed. Talk to later ciao

Well the election is over and here the thing the people nobody wanted were reelected that makes absolutely no sense to me. They did this white vote last time so that these guys wouldn’t get reelected and then they turn around and elect them anyway. You think you have voter apathy in the US? People down here only vote if they think that they’ll get a job or some other form of consideration when there “friend” is elected. We all know how that turns out. It would seem that people here are like people in the US they just want to get on with their lives because there was no grumbling or unrest. It’s probably a good thing because the police down here would rather beat people then control them. I find that rather surprising you would think that in a country where protesting seems to be part of life, the police are grossly under trained for riot control. My being a cat leaves my ability to understand things like politics out of my reach of understanding. Cats just have cat fights and spitting fits we don’t go around and destroy or neighborhoods. Ok once in awhile we’ll scratch the furniture to show our displeasure about not being fed on time but we don’t get beat up by the cat police for it. Well the sun is out don’t know for how long but Ruby says she needs wrapping paper and Jeff needs soda. This is cool because that means I get to enjoy my sun spot undisturbed no TV and no Ruby on the phone. Oh dam I just heard the Juan Pablo ( Harder’s soon to be step son) is going to be living with him now, that means Ruby will be babysitting  him. He’s a little too rough for me that means a lot of time under the bed. Oh well such is life. Now as I said before I’m going over to my sunspot and off Jeff’s boney lap to enjoy as much of the sun as I can before you know who gets here. Ciao!

Sunday morning nice and quiet until they decided to throw a First Communion party in the court yard under my sun window then Hari came by( you know I don’t mind him he’s cool). Then Nacho and Olga said they were coming and the phone started to ring off the hook, it seems that Nelida has the flu really bad and everyone is concerned. Finally Nacho and Olga showed up but Jeff and Ruby still stayed home because people were afraid of some disturbance depending on who won the election as it was nothing happened. I think everybody was tired from last night Ruby wasn’t the only one who threw a party. I found out that there has to be a winner this time around so I guess it’s possible that someone could get elected Mayor without a majority of votes. I really don’t understand why people want to be Mayor here or there. I’m really glad cats don’t have elections we just down to the vacant lot and the last one standing is the leader to the next fight. That way we don’t have the same politicians for years and years and years get the picture. I’ve heard that Jeff’s niece wants to go green and downsize I hope she remembers cat s are smaller than dogs. Here go the fireworks again and here I go under the bed ciao

Saturday night all dressed up and nowhere to go well not exactly there were about ten or twelve aunt cousins and assorted relatives between me and escape as well as my dinner and litter box. Not only that every time somebody new came in Jeff had to pick me up and bring me out for show and tell. Well I had enough of that and brought out the nails and gave his hand a good slice. He thinks it was just a accident LOL, I just give him my sad eyes and keep my head down and all is forgiven. He just doesn’t get it that I don’t like to picked up and carried around like a loaf of bread I have some picture that I’ll put up Sundays post and you see for yourself. Think that takes care of the obligatory Christmas visit to our house now Jeff and Ruby have to visit other people for the Holidays and I get to sleep in my sun spot. You have to understand it’s not that I don’t like their relatives I just prefer them one at a time. The only thing that made the day Ok was in the middle of this chaos Hari came to watch television with me; that was really cool. Sunday is Election Day again; remember I told you nobody won last time. I’ve asked if nobody wins this time what happens and nobody can tell me it should be pretty interesting, at least this time there wasn’t as much noise with the campaigning. Well as I look at the old clock on the wall I see it’s time to take a healthy poop and call it a day ciao.